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cold
New to the bisexual / gay scene ... entirely. Ran the straight and narrow since I've been alive & my recent divorce allowed me to kick the door off the hinges to an unknown & very large, if not dominating, part of my personality. I've struggled with accepting this very unfamiliar & entirely unexpected side of myself for the better part of a year. About 6 months ago I woke up and quite literally of the blue knew that I was very much a fem, sub bottom. This probably sounds unbelievable & maybe even a bit off or whatever but, on that day, all of the reluctancy & fear I felt from wanting, needing, to explore & fully embrace so many things I never, in my wildest imagination, expected to ever experience ... much less desperately want & need simply was gone. It was as if I became who I was intended to be and everything inside me was OK with that. Don't get me wrong, I am still very nervous, anxious, scared, etc because I'm completely inexperienced. I think I make up for that, however, by my genuine desire to dive in, my lack of inhibition & my natural drive to explore myself ... whatever it may be.